Hawley Griffin: What are you up to at the moment?
Chris Kasch: Just done the front cover for Mojo magazine and am - ahem - doing an ad campaign for After Eight mints.
HG: What artists pictures do you have adorning the walls of your home (other than your own)
CK: There are no artists works on my wall other than my own. My home is a
monument to myself.
HG: Have you ever turned down a job on moral grounds?
CK: Yes, for LOADED magazine. They wanted me to paint a man fucking a horse
and a woman shooting ping pong balls out of her vagina. They couldn't, of
course, understand my dilemma. I almost did it out of guilt because they were
the first people to commission me.
HG: Has anyone ever been turned off your work on the grounds that 'they know what they like', and your work wasn't it?
CK: I don't really care.
HG: Generally speaking do you hate explaining your work?
CK: Generally speaking, yes, because I've got fuck all to say. I'd rather let someone else interpret the work. Some might say that's laziness - and, of course, they'd be right.
HG: Who is best: Rolf Harris, Tony Hart or Neil 'Art Attack' Buchanan?
CK: Tony Hart - such a gentleman
HG: What is your idea of hell?
CK: Being in a room full of people. I think we need another Biblical flood.
HG: What's the worst smell in the world?
CK: My Mother's knickers
HG: What's the most terrifying thing that's ever happened to you?
CK: Considering the army as a viable career option when I didn't get the grades I needed for art school.
HG: Did you vote new labour?
CK: Does it fucking matter, really?
HG: Have you ever walked out on a film ?
CK: Yep - Who framed Roger Rabbit? (Transcribers note - Kasch excels himself here - not sure what this fantastically inoffensive film has done to offend him, but he's quite vehement)
HG: Do you still know how much a pint of milk costs?
CK: I buy four pints, not one. (Transcribers note - again, not quite sure what he's getting at here - unless he's actually boasting about the amount of milk he can drink )
HG: Which celebrity would you least like to be trapped in a lift with?
CK: Jo Whiley. Is that so wrong?
HG: Have you ever shop-lifted?
CK: I got caught robbing a 10p mix from the cornershop, but gave a false address. Oh, and this hard fuck I hung around with ( who I was scared of ) made me steal a pint of milk from a doorstep, drink it - and told me he was going to tell my Mum. He later robbed a Post Office and left behind his jacket with his address in. Stupid fuck.
HG: As a Northerner living in London have you found most Southern men to be a bunch of soft, shandy-drinking poofs?
CK: You'd have to ask a proper Northerner - I'm not exactly Sean Bean.
HG: Is the art work of Adolf Hitler misunderstood?
CK: I haven't got a clue, to be honest. I haven't seen any of his work.
HG: As a student ( or young man ) did you ever own a poster of one of
Escher's line drawings or, failing that, a female tennis player scratching her arse?
CK: No. I did have Dave Lee Roth posters though...
HG: What are your all time, solid gold, guaranteed floor filling compilation tape classic three tunes?
CK: Bubbles by The Free Design, Stormy by Scott Walker and Lettre de Fans by Johnny Hallyday
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