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Fast Food Recipes, You Wish Were Kept Secret...

LOVEJOY J. LOVEJOY tells more pointless lies about large American Multi-National Companies.

The International fast-food chain McDonald's has been causing a stir in America with its new test range - specifically tailored for the more adventurous, and less discriminating, customers.

The new McEconomy Range has been tried out in the poorer areas in America's deep south and will utilise the parts of animals which under normal practice would be quickly emptied into a plastic bag and disposed of.

Making a debut appearance on the new range is the 'Mc Skin Wrap', which according to John Wayne Gacey, McDonald's Vice President, and inventor of that defender of the burger, Ronald McDonald, says 'contains 100% pure chicken skin and has a price that will fit any pocket.

'Now people that could in the past only eat at McDonald's meal three or four times a week can order Mc Skin Mega Meal every single night' Gacey says, visibly aroused.

'And the skin is where all the nutrients and essential oils of the healthy bird is stored. It makes it some the oiliest food you'll ever enjoy. It's dribbling-down-between-your-fingers good'

By far the most economic thing on the new menu is the McChicken Cock Head, which contains an entire rooster's face in batter.

'I have to say, I was kinda surprised by the thing...' says Kansas McDonald's fan Darren Troy Wainwright, III. 'I thought at first that it wouldn't work. I've never enjoyed eatin' an animal's face before, but the Mc Cock Head tastes real good.

'I think of it like a regular chicken nuggets but the beak gives it a real crunch. Make's eatin' it kinda exciting...'.

The McEconomy range with be making it's first apperance this side of the Atlantic at the Slough restaurant at the beginning of May.

Contact:
Edward Higgins - editor@thepariah.co.uk
Gustava Lorca -features-editor@thepariah.co.uk

Stories told by idiots, full of sound and fury and meaning nothing.

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